Divine Surprises

"Creative living is full of encounters with the unpredicted.

 Divine surprises. Revelations that will take your breath away,

 and give it back again, time and time again."

~ Karen Hering

It's 10:15 PM. My son and my husband are asleep, my daughter is finishing up the last of her homework, and I finally have time to myself. I am both tired and exhilarated, pulled to do three things at once, all of them creative, all of them guaranteed to feed my soul. There's this blog to write, which I look forward to every week. Tuesday mornings I wake up and actually think, I get to write tonight! But tonight I am also pulled to finish putting together the 15 minute worship service I will be leading tomorrow night. No writing for this one, but still the careful selecting of readings, the choosing of hymns, the arrangement of all of the elements of the service. Where is the best place for a moment of silence? Should the hymn go before or after the reading? And if that isn't enough, I also want to work on a song I started writing while on a walk earlier this week!

To be honest, I'm not sure where this deep pull to create is coming from. It's like I'm making up for lost time, the creative impulse accelerating for the past couple of years with no sign of slowing down. Maybe it's mortality's cold breath on the back of my neck, the realization that I will not live forever so I'd better get to it! Maybe it's self confidence growing like a snowball as it picks up speed down a hill. I'm certain this creative urge is fueled by the warm acceptance I have received from the beautiful community of friends and family I have shared my creative efforts with. 

Last Sunday, Aaron, my amazing minister preached on living whole-heartedly. He shared two questions that guide his life, questions he reminds us of a couple of times a year because they are that important: What do you love? And, therefore, how will you live? This sermon filled me with joy because I actually feel like each day I am living more and more whole-heartedly, growing into my life. This is such a recent phenomenon for me that it still has the power to surprise and delight me. I am really living a life I love. Someone pinch me. I must be dreaming.

Lest you feel the urge to do more than pinch me, remember what I wrote about in my last two posts. My life is far from picture perfect. I am struggling with heartache and frustrations big and small. There are things that make me cry regularly.  But what's different now, is that these emotions don't consume me. They walk side by side with joy, gratitude, and love. They are related after all, cousins in the family of human experiences. And all of these feelings bring offerings to the table that feed the creative spirit.

It's getting late. I've finished preparing my worship service. I wrote this post in record time (and it's good enough). ... Can I squeeze in a little time to work on my song before sleep demands that I turn off the light? ...  Why not? I can sleep when I'm dead, right?